September 14, 2018
In an Estes Park shop, I came across a saying, carefully engraved into the lid of a handmade wooden box that said: “Creativity Takes Courage.”
I was immediately struck by the truth of it. Creativity does take courage. I have been circling my desk and my nice new laptop for two months now, waiting on that dose of courage. Why? Fear, plain and simple. Fear that the work is not good enough and will never find an audience. Fear that it’s incredibly mediocre and will never be lyric or profound enough. Fear that the business of poetry will require me to do things wildly outside of my comfort zone.
At the same time, I am deeply compelled to write, and have been since the 3rd grade. As a shy person, as a person who still has not found her voice (who too often opts for silence), as a person who feels things deeply and intensely, I must write or go mad.
So, since I am driven to write, what about the pleasure in the work itself? Georgia O’Keefe once said: “The days you work are the best days.” And I understand that at my core. Anne Lamott goes further, saying that the act of writing is justification in and of itself. It does not require publication. If you love to write, then write.
And yet. Despite having not published, I have amassed a body of work over the past twenty-five years, that could yield five books: 3 of poems, 1 of haiku and 1 of short stories. And these are only the best of the best. They don’t count forty years of journals or the volumes of rejected poems. But my point here is the work. Work days are indeed the best days — the best hours, when spent absorbed in the creative process. Inspiration often flows best unbidden, but there are ways to stimulate it, to prime the pump, if you will. For me, often reading a favorite poet puts my galloping mind into a certain rhythm, which can yield an original phrase that kicks off the whole endeavor of putting words to paper.
And that’s what I need to remember as I circle the desk — the sheer pleasure at the center of the act of creation. Yes, it does take courage, but it also takes memory to remember how the work really goes. They are the best days.
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